32 Things: Week 9

  1. The Patriots can win by 20 and have it feel like a loss.
  2. I spoke too soon, but Dan Campbell… Still a savage.
  3. Rex Ryan got a big win before he loses his personal Super Bowl to the Jets
  4. Speaking of the Jets, what a huge win over a really tough Jacksonville team.
     

    gif-keyboard-5690679108315083938

  5. Mariota got lucky, and then he got hot. If you ever need a big win just fire your coach and then the next game is yours.
  6. All Blake Bortles does is throw for 300 yards every single week
  7. A week without the Texans is refreshing, pretty much a win for them, no?
  8.  The Colts continue to be the most confusing team of all time. Luck looked like an NFL QB for the first time outside of garbage time.
  9. Steelers lose Big Ben again, this time for 2 weeks or so, Antonio Brown fantasy owners got enough points for three weeks though so it’s good.
  10. Johnny Football deserves at least the opportunity to play out the rest of the season. Would be very Browns to not let him however
  11. Bengals are going undefeated. Been saying it since the first Dorm Talk.
  12. The league’s 2nd most confusing team got a week off in Baltimore
  13. Philip Rivers and Eric Weddle are the only healthy and the only competent players in the entire city of San Diego
  14. Aqib Talib makes some very aggressive honest mistakes
     

    gif-keyboard-17807024678948090217

  15. Kansas City on a bye, maybe they found a way to magically heal Jamaal Charles.
  16. THE RAIDA’S and their Cooper Carr are flying down the highway so fast they may get to get out LA traffic next year.
  17. Cassel throws 3 Td’s, Dez has 100+, Beasley has 100+, McFadden has 100+…..and the Cowboys still lose. My Life is great
     

    gif-keyboard-26831483464704188

  18. Giants squeak past the Bucs, ODB was unstoppable on third down. Would be the most Giants move ever to beat the Patriots on Sunday followed by losing 3 straight.
  19. Redskins scored on the Patriots so that’s like a win right?
  20.  Eagles beat the Cowboys but Jordan Hicks, their MVP so far, done for the year.
  21. BLAINE GABBERT FOR MVP. Wait. This Blaine Gabbert?
     

    Blaine-Gabbert

  22. Todd Gurley only ran for 80 yards and a TD, BUST
  23. Seattle on a bye, Russell Wilson spent his week in heaven discussing Cover 2 with God, NFL beware.
  24. Arizona on bye as well, which meant no Carson Palmer for fantasy.
  25. ^Which means I had to start Teddy Bridgewater, let’s see how that went

     

    Deadspin
    Deadspin
  26.  Packers lose 2 in a row
     

    gif-keyboard-18101534842750686551

     

    Funny until they don’t lose again.

  27. DA BEARS on get the W on Monday night with a win over the Chargers in the worst Monday night game of the season.
  28. Insert “Lions” into #7
  29. Bucs lose. Mike Evans ties the record for most drops in a game in the last 10 years. He’ll have 10 catches for 200 next week just because they’re playing the Cowboys.
  30. Live look at the Falcons
     

    phony bolgona

  31. New Orleans loses in OT to Tennessee one week after scoring 52 on the Giants. NFL is weird, man.
  32. Cam rips down a sign and then dominates Green Bay, Panthers are frustratingly undefeated as nobody knows their strengths or their weaknesses.
 

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